学进去

Also known as Adlerian psychology, individual psychology offers a refreshing perspective and insights into interpersonal relationships, fear and trauma (精神创伤). It is a theory of human behavior that focuses on the basic need of belonging and the importance of engaging in constructive actions. The Courage to Be Disliked, using the theories of Alfred Adler, follows a dialogue between a philosopher or a teacher and a young man. The philosopher helps his student to understand how each of us is able to determine the direction of our own life, free from the past trauma and the expectations of others.

Alfred Adler believes that our past trauma don’t define our future. Instead, we choose how trauma affect our present or future lives. We do not suffer from the shock of our experiences—the so-called trauma—but instead, and we make whatever suits our purposes out of them. We are not determined by our experiences, but the meaning we give them is self-determining.

In other words, he claims that one doesn’t suffer from the shock of their experiences (the trauma), but that we feel that way because that was our goal in the first place. Adler conveys an example of a person that doesn’t want to step out of his house due to anxiety and fear filling him up every time he steps outside. The philosopher asserts that the person creates fear and anxiety so that he stays inside.

Why? Because possibly he’ll have to face the uncertainty of being out there, facing the mass. Possibly, the man believes that he’s so average that nobody will like him. So, it’s better to stay home and not risk feeling unwanted emotions.

In the Adlerian worldview, the past doesn’t matter. You don’t think about past causes; you think about present goals. You choose an emotion or behavior to achieve a present goal.