学进去

Saying farewell to someone you love, even for a night, can be difficult, much less saying goodbye for a lifetime or forever in death. Juliet bid Romeo adieu (再见) for the evening with the words, “Parting is such sweet sorrow.” Sweet sorrow is an oxymoron. But this seeming contradiction is true in the context of relationships.

Relationships are based on feelings, emotions, and passion. Deep friendships and loving relationships are measured by the level of emotional attachment. Emotions intensify over time. People spend time with the people they like. The more one person likes another person, the closer the relationship becomes. Each person in the relationship receives an emotional benefit from knowing the other person.

Saying goodbye means separating from the people who make up a significant part of your emotional identity. Separation, even a temporary absence, from the people you have a deep emotional connection with can cause sorrow because you will no longer be able to enjoy their company.

The sweet side of saying goodbye is the emotional fulfillment of being in a close relationship. The time spent together is emotionally rewarding, especially if that person is seen as a soulmate. Humans are social beings. We seek the love and comfort of other people. Loneliness devastates the human condition and leads to sadness. Sad people will do anything they can to find fulfilling relationships. Likewise, happy people will do anything they can to maintain or enhance relationships. Herein lies the essential point of the emotional problem.

The more intense relationships become, the more devastating the emotional loss that is felt upon separation. The exhilaration of relationships cannot be truly measured without experiencing the overwhelming loss of a deep emotional connection.

Enjoy the company of the person you are with as long as you can; knowing the pain you will feel at the end of the relationship is the true measure of the relationship. If it doesn’t hurt to say goodbye, perhaps it wasn’t worth saying hello.