学进去

My brother Stanley died last January from cancer（癌症），and I spent a lot of time with him in hospital over his last few months. I witnessed（见证） the care he received and，at the time，I thought it was poor. It shocked and hurt me.

While Stanley was sick，I was a medical student. I therefore put a lot of time and energy in the medical profession. It gave me an insider's view of the care Stanley received，when most people spending time with a very sick loved one only have an outside view. However，as I see now it made me judge the care that his doctors and nurses gave him too harshly(严厉的).

We experienced long waits in emergency departments（急症室），and doctors were unsure of the details of Stanley's case. We waited around for doctors to arrive，but they seldom turned up. But worst of all was Stanley's senior doctor. Near the end，he announced coldly that there was nothing left to try. “All the choices have been used，"he said. And with that，he left，never to be seen again.

All this affected the way I thought about my studies. Did I want to work in a field where people treated patients as if they were numbers on a chart？After Stanley died，I finished my studies and graduated with all the rest of students in my year. They went on to get jobs in hospitals，while I took a year out. I simply couldn't face working in medicine.

Finally，I applied for （申请）and got a position as a cancer doctor in a busy clinic in a big city. Now I was a cancer doctor myself，and I often had to tell patients bad news. It is a terribly difficult thing to tell someone that they have a serious illness. I also found that I couldn't always answer patients' questions. They would want to know whether they could be cured，or how long they would live，but it wasn't always possible to say.

It was then that I understood what difficult job health providers do. It made me think back to my experiences with doctors and nurses when Stanley was sick. Perhaps what I had thought was unprofessional (不专业) or coldness was just a reflection of the demanding nature of the work.

I began to see my patients as Stanley，and myself no longer as his sister，but one of his caregivers.

Now I was in their shoes-the people who spend every day caring for others.

I still miss Stanley horribly，but at least now the anger has gone.