学进去

   If we want to grow as people, we can’t just depend on our own evaluation (评价) of how we’re doing. We also need to know what other people think about our performance. Receiving feedback (反馈) from others can help us see the larger picture and show us a way forward to success. However, someone has to give that feedback, and sometimes, that someone will be you. How should you deal with this?

First things first—if you notice a situation in which some feedback would be helpful, give it as soon as you can. If you wait until the matter disappears from the person’s mind, they might not understand what you’re trying to tell them. Take the person to a safe, comfortable place and offer your advice in private.

When you’re giving feedback, it’s important to keep in mind that no one likes to be told they’re doing a bad job. Make sure you give an equal (相等的) amount of good feedback to balance out (平衡) anything bad. Like the saying goes, “A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.”

All good feedback shares something in common. First, it should help achieve a goal. It’s less useful to tell your friends that their dish tastes “interesting” than it is to suggest adding a little salt. Feedback should also look toward the future. You can’t change what’s already happened, but you can prevent it from happening again. Tell your friends they should take more notes in class instead of talking about how they should have studied harder for the big history exam they failed.

Finally, don’t think your suggestion is the only correct way to deal with a situation. You might even end up with some feedback on your feedback. Don’t take it personally — it can only help you give better advice next time